are you sure you want to delete this file; lasthope.mp3?

the road lays before me that
i’ve been down a million times.
it’s muddy and rocky with
a million tire spikes.
this is my life and no
one is here to save me
from the pain that paralyzes
me with fear.
at times it comes down to knowing
i won’t make it one more second.
it’s too much to take.
that’s when the panther wakes.
fight or flight, but the windows
are barred. and all that’s left to do
is to tear myself apart
merely to distract from the pain
in my heart.
what will get me through this minute?
the next? and the next?
there’s no light, and all openings
I’ve learned to never expect.
conditioning is brutal.
all that’s crucial to me
is some small thing that
could make me happy
and distract from the pain.
just give me a minute.
give me a moment.
i reach out for help and receive
snide comments.
no more.
i’m not your average demon-spawned
whore.
i feel and i don’t want
to hurt you anymore.

 

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