diagnosis

when i saw
Silvano’s face
i was overcome
with panic.
but when i read
of DF’s case
i was truly
slightly comforted.

he may have received
medical intervention
but it makes no difference
to me or my intentions.

in a sad sad way
i feel i’ll die in the red.
and address letters to professionals
“don’t mail til i am dead.”

my diagnosis is now printed
but my healing has been stinted
by misunderstanding
and mistreatment and branding.

let them look at me and say
wow, she was truly brave.
and i’m making my stand
by no longer extending a hand
for help.

but guilt is not a feeling
that i should leave behind.
but perhaps if they could learn,
to the next one they’ll be kind.

who knows.
not me.
i am a picture
of insanity.

they take a moment’s glance and say;
she is mentally ill.
and therefore there’s no reason
to give this girl a pill.

i believe all doctors
should take a test
to rate their compassion
before they start a practice.

but alas, the world is not so.
they can’t fit in my shoes and therefore
they won’t know.

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