The Presence of Absence

Before I lose my train of thought, I’ve been thinking about those moments that occur in our minds that most people are rarely conscious for. Since my mind started going I’ve become too casual in letting things fly past my radar. I’m going to start working on that again. We’ll see if the symptom is still manageable.

Some moments I miss being present for, like the instant that you:
Fall asleep
Wake up
Start Dreaming
Lose a minor pain
Stop thinking
Make a decision (I’m not sure if it’s the same for everyone. I do occasionally have those big aha moments, but I usually approach even the smallest decision so carefully and modestly I don’t notice.)
Settle for something
Have a change in mood
You get the picture.

Other moments may be absolute paradoxes that are impossible to remember:
Being conceived
Forgetting something

It can be quite frightening to realize how much of your own inner world is beyond your recognition or control. That if the mind shuts off we are not aware of the consciousness that is present to perceive it. I guess that’s all meditation is; the recognition of an absence of the worldly mind.
But behind every absence, must there be a presence to label it as such? Absence does not exist without perception. Therefore anything that is absent can only be the consciousness experiencing the absence, and there is no such thing.
On the other hand, we would have to clump emotions into that category as well, and I can’t bring myself to do that. Emotions are like visitors that have a presence of their own and are experienced by all sentient beings. Emotions are shared and usually not unique to an individual. Those are the most important moments in your life, because a feeling of emotion beyond thought, and therefore forever unlabeled, means you have received a special visitor.
Absence perhaps is a visitor as well. Sometimes more felt than consciously translated.



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