an article on animal welfare

And wondering where we strayed, posterity will note that in America, farm animals were excluded from the very definition of “animal” in the protections provided in our federal Animal Welfare Act. A few minimal regulations apply, such as a new one — a glimpse of the whole ethical setting — saying that you can’t use bulldozers to drag to slaughter a dairy cow too sick or lame to walk to her own death. Even this was resisted by the cattle and dairy lobby as a meddling in their private affairs. What should we expect of an industry that may be described, almost literally, as lawless?


Egg producers call the process “maceration,” doubtless because “chick shredding” didn’t have quite the right ring of science and normality. They borrowed the term from wine-makers — apparently figuring, hey, what does it really matter whether you’re doing it with grapes or to living creatures? If it were some guy in his backyard “macerating” a handful of live baby birds, instead of a supposedly respectable global enterprise doing it to billions of them, witnesses would call the police, who would call in the psych unit. Never mind what kind of industry can get away with such a thing. What kind of industry would even think of it?


“One measure of human moral progress — amid and despite the savageries we visit upon each other — is how we treat the innocent in our care. And none are more innocent than these.”


the original article


i return home
to my own blood on the floor.
my tears soaked into the wall.

it may be months old but
i can smell it all.

and i feel it all over again.
a repetitive punishment
for feeling to begin.

anytime i express myself
i’m ostracized and pushed away.
alienated and caving
beneath the heavy weight
of my heart decaying.

do not allow them to
take me away.
i’d like to spend my own time
here in my lonely grave.

to get around to being
used to it.
feeling it closing as I’m
cased in it.

you’ll look away, screaming,
for you don’t like me for my
and so the cycle is complete.
for i don’t like the way
you feel about me.

goodnight, heavy soul.
goodbye to my emotions.
my very life has been stolen.
you won’t care to keep the portions.


comedy gold

this is the best laugh i’ve had in weeks that i can clearly point to and say “laugh at it.” this is supposed to be philosophical but it’s late so i’ll just dim it down and say the one in the middle cracks me up.

here is the official description:
Three self-portraits, each possessing an animal, vegetable, or mineral mind, debate the nature of violence with each other, and discuss their fears — generally their fears about each other. They also wonder about “that thing” before them, and we hear how they project their own interior worlds onto it in an attempt to figure out what it really is. Although they hear each other, nothing seems to penetrate or influence their ideas; no matter what the subject matter discussed, they eventually return to their own interests and fixed ideas.

This work is a “cinematic sculpture”. The dialog is not pre-recorded, and is different each time someone visits it, generated in real time by a computer program. The conversations that these figures carry on are neither completely scripted, nor are they random; rather, the software gives each a “personality”, a vocabulary, associative habits, obsessions, and other quirks of personality which allow them to behave as if in a scene of film, acting out their role over and over, but always changing.

depression’s extent

i’ve been reading about others’ experiences with depression online, in an attempt to try to explain my own symptoms better.
this was an anonymous comment on a website (and i hope it’s ok to share) from a guy who has really been crushed by his illness.
it is very touching and heartbreaking, and sadly i admit that i feel the same way he does very often.

I used to have faith in God – I became a catholic – now I just feel a fool. I spent my whole life doing good for him – my faith was so strong, Now at the age of 66 I realise it was a waste of time. He doesnt care about me at all. I cannot connect with my daughter – just found out my son has aspergergers. Been through a horrific 3 years because I did not know my son had this. Now I am having my antidepressants changed. I tried to kill myself infront of my daughter a few days ago – she fought me. You think theres a God? forget it!!
I have nothing to live for – most times the only reason I do not kill myself is because then I might just find myself in the company of those I knew before I came here and I would not ever want to see them them again after this horrific life.
THAT is what depression feels like to me – no way out – only existence. No smiles, no enthusiasm any longer – just an empty shell of a once vibrant person who only wanted to help people.
Now I worship money becuase money is the only thing I have left and I have precious little of that.
I always thought that there would be an end to my suffering here, now I know that it just goes on on and on and on. In my darkest hours I always believed in God – now I have do not have that -at least I have found a way to make a little money for myself. I never even asked him for anything – I will never pray again, he does not exist because if he did exist, if he was a loving god then I would not be writing this.
I even changed my name three years ago to include his name in my name – now I cant wait to change name again.
That is what depression feels like – there is no word in the language to describe it.
You have lost me God and everyone in heaven has lost me – was it worth it????
I will go to a better place when I finally die – as long as it is away from you I do not really care where it is now.

i don’t think there are any more words i can add to make any more clear the destruction that depression causes in people’s lives, hearts, and minds.

without, within

how easy it is
to find your way in this world
with gps and street signs;
little maps and property lines.

we all know our hometowns
like an old armchair,
and we’re happy to show newcomers
the fastest road to there.

but what about ourselves?
what must hide behind our eyes?
do we know to mourn the loss
as our cells all slowly die?
they’re replaced by something new.
though i bet you never knew.
never felt a change
when they chose to rearrange.

sad but true.

the mind is such a maze.
for some it’s a few corners,
not too hard to find their way.

mine loops and spins and betrays
its host.
and i become a lucid ghost
cursed to wander twisted hallways.
doomed to learn there never was
a center anyway.
for each time i had found it
it had found the will to change.

confused within its trap.
my heart is wrapped up,
when my mind succumbs
to just relax,
and let it go.
just let it snap.

our inner selves are
wilderness, though
somewhat polluted.
no maps, no signal bars,
and the leaves of the forest
block out the stars.

how can we be so damn sure
when the sly translator
misinterprets the words?


a life of routine
is an empty thing.
a groundhog day.
a joke of belief.

you become a ghost,
or some parasite’s host,
and your shadow
is haunting yourself
the most.

doomed in some limbo
to hold dear to it all.
to tune out the writing
on your cerebral wall.

subsistence was not meant
to persist quite like this.
dismiss your rehearsal.
pandemonium is bliss.

this post will self-destruct

feeling brave it seems. this is me and my man. you may realize he is a tad older than me. but at the same time, i look much younger than i am. me and my diabolical smile.
i probably shouldn’t go into detail about how we enjoy disturbing the public as some people assume he is my father.
i miss him. i think i’m ready to go home.



my bags are packed and
i’m ready to go.
i’m standing here
outside your door.
that door of my
conviction or
the entrance to
my redemption.
but they won’t
admit me,
just as the way
the world won’t get me.

i’m leaving on a jet plane
and i’m never coming back.
altitude shows me
the world at a glance.

and fuck it’s so ugly.
as ugly as me.

the world that denies
the helpless
in soft effort
to disagree.

cut me off.
block me from the world.
i have no wish to
be here anymore.

every attempt to
solace myself
is only a one way ticket
to hell.

but oh my darlings
i’m already there.
entombed within
this bear trap snare.

my leg’s coming off.
and my head’s
nodding off.

as if it were
so easy.
soft and loud and
sort of breezy.

the end.
i only wish that
the pain would
for a moment.
long enough for
me to make
some atonement
to myself.
but i am self-contained.

every courage i ever
had is drained.

living in a mind
that wishes to destroy.
its only means
is the false expectation of